Every girl struggling to make ends meet wishes that the fairy tale romance portrayed in Pretty Woman would happen to her. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, it's very simple. The hardworking down on her luck girl meets the handsome, virile billionaire. Sparks ensue, money exchanges hands, and eventually what once was a business transaction turns into a true love scenario when he realizes he can't live without her. How many of you in your twenties sighed after watching that movie, thinking of how much you'd like to change your thrift store hand me downs and your cabinets full of Spaghettios for what Julia Roberts found? Apparently, there a lot more than you might imagine. In fact, there are entire websites thriving from this dream; young beautiful women are in search of powerful, rich men to change their lives, and these girls are willing to pay a monthly fee to do so. They call themselves Sugar Babies and they are looking for their Sugar Daddies.

I wanted to ask her if this wasn't just a form of prostitution. But she was my friend and I didn't want to hurt her feelings...

I was unaware that such a thing existed until recently. A good friend of mine who is single admitted to me one night that she had joined such a site. She's a very pretty girl in her late twenties, and she's sick of the traditional dating scene. Having once been single myself I can empathize- for every nice guy out there, there are ten more creeps that are just a waste of your time. My friend decided on a short cut. Since she joined this exclusive dating site for Sugar Daddies and Babies, she's been on four dates with older men and is planning more, looking for exactly the right "arrangement". I was a little shocked when she disclosed this to me. What did she mean by arrangement?

"Well", she told me without missing a beat, "These older men have a lot of money to spare, and they're looking for someone who makes them happy. They can afford to help pay my rent, buy me nice things, give me gifts- it depends on what I want and what they're willing to offer. And in return I give them my company, my time and attention..."

"And sex?..." I asked her.

"Of course. But it's not all about that. A lot of these guys are looking for long term relationships. You just hope you get lucky and find the right one."

What woman could resist this?

I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say; I wanted to ask her if this wasn't just a form of prostitution. But she was my friend and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and I'm not the type to be so judgmental at the snap of my fingers. Not without doing some research first. So I did what any good friend would do. I got on the site myself and created my own ad. I wasn't looking for myself, mind you. I'm a happily married woman. But I wanted to see what the fuss was about and understand my friend's motivations.

A little searching showed me that the majority of the site was older men, 50's and above, making at least $500,000 to a million dollars a year. About roughly half had pictures of themselves, while others omitted their pictures and asked for discretion in their profiles, I'm assuming because they were already married. Very occasionally there were good looking men in their thirties and forties- and their profiles reflected that they knew they were a fine catch. These men, it seemed, could afford to be very direct about what they wanted. One profile I saw gave specific height, weight, age, and dress size requirements. Location was not important as he was offering to relocate whomever he chose at his expense. Reading it left me with a rather bad taste in my mouth. It was like he was buying a piece of artwork, or a car.

Within the first twenty four hours I got thirty emails from men looking to make me their Sugar Baby. I'll admit, I put my own photo up there and it was personally gratifying to see these cultured, rich men offering me outrageous things just for the ability to sleep with me. But it also seemed very sad to me. These men had it all. Education, wealth, power... And here they were trying to buy companionship. Was it really that lonely at the top?

One man offered me an apartment on the West Coast, a car, and a monthly salary. All I'd have to do was give him one night a week (he was married) of his choosing to be at his beck and call. Another offered to fly me to Argentina for a month, all expenses paid- at the end of the month he'd send me home in style with a sizeable donation to support my lifestyle. Another promised monthly shopping sprees with no fixed limit. And lastly, a very sweet and intelligent man that I corresponded with for almost two days, was so upset when I turned him down that he sent me an article recen tly written about him to show me just how much money I stood to make if I took him up on his offer. Out of respect and empathy for this person, who was obviously very lonely, I will reveal no more details except to say it would have been extremely lucrative to me to accept. So lucrative that I have to admit I hesitated for just a second. Hey, c'mon... I'm only human.

But what happens to these women once they start down this road? Emotionally, what kind of toll do you pay for selling yourself?

But I didn't need a Sugar Daddy. I wasn't a starving college kid and I wasn't alone in the world. However, I could see the lure many young women must feel when they contemplate this sort of arrangement. We all know the desperation of working a dead end job, barely able to make your rent, worried about that next big electric bill, wondering if you are ever going to get anywhere in life. Then along comes a millionaire who wants to take away all those worries if you'll only give him a bit of your time and the use of your body. It's got to be tempting- especially when the numbers are so high compared to your paycheck at the end of the week.

But what happens to these women once they start down this road? Emotionally, what kind of toll do you pay for selling yourself? Some could argue that you are always selling yourself in life, no matter what. These women are just being more honest about it. They know the lifestyle they want, and they are out to get it from the men willing to pay for youth and beauty. And yes, there are men on these sites looking for long term relationships, possibly marriage. Not every man on there is looking for a traditional Sugar Baby/ Sugar Daddy relationship. They are looking for a young, pretty woman with class and style that has an appreciation for the finer things and can fit into their world. But they are a minority.

I know how I felt about it, that moment I hesitated, reading that email from the billionaire who was offering me enough money that I could retire. I felt jaded- I felt cynical. It wasn't pleasant. But that's me. I've decided on what I want in life and who I want to be already. Taking money, whatever amount, for a once a week sexual encounter with a man old enough to be my father just wasn't going to make me happy. It would be wrong of me to say that it couldn't make another woman happy. We all have different ideals and goals.

My last point is this. I spoke to a few men to gauge their reaction to the idea of Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddies. Invariably, the men turned up their lips at the idea of a Sugar Baby, calling her a gold digger and an opportunist. But when I reversed the situation, asking them if they would take money from a woman to sleep with her once a week, all of the sudden they were all ears. Of course they would! Did this make them a bad person? No, of course not, they told me. They were just being smart. So when you trying to decide how you feel about this situation, keep that in mind. There's definitely a double standard for men and women in the Sugar Baby world. And that leads me to believe that it's just not a black and white answer- as with everything else in life, there are many shades of grey. It's up to you to pick where you are in the spectrum.

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